So over all of it!

I’m so over the following:

1. Having to FORCE myself through everything. I realize I can take some meds and “do” an activity but that also means I have to take LOTS of pills,be kinda out of it and then I get to hurt for the activity the next few days. I hate that i can only do things with all this preparation mentally and chemically. Its like “oh no. I only have about 2 hours to get this done before I start hurting real bad again.”

2. being told “you cant really hurt that bad.” well yes, yes I can! or “you use your back as an excuse for everything.” never mind the fact that my pain and back affect EVERY facet of my life and don’t EVERT let up.

3. waking up tired. I feel like I ran a marathon. Id like to be able to lay down in bed, at a decent hour and get 8 hours of UNINTERRUPTED RESTFUL sleep.

4. lashing out at people cuz i’m tired and I hurt

5. Doctors who think I’m a drug addict because advil won’t cure my pain

6. Feeling like I could FIX MY LIFE’S PROBLEMS COMPLETELY IF I could just control this pain and know how I’ll feel day to day

7 Watching the things I used to do go away one by one as I get tired of getting all propped up on pills to do them and then hurting like CRAZY (on top of my usual pain) for days afterward.

8. Being told “you’re depressed” OF COURSE I AM! you would be too on no sleep and in constant pain.

ok that’s it for the moment I just hadda vent. What do you think?

Jesse